I haint no boldfaced nor italicized contortionist

I haint no boldfaced nor italicized contortionist

Unusual sleeping arrangement
atop the NOT so easy chair
cluttered with an assortment
of odds and ends
delivers dadaist discombobulation.

Makeshift situation forced me
to squish myself scrunched into a ball
(spolier alert - this old body
of mine NOT flexible
and crossing these skinny legs
quite painful ever since being born),
which resulted in experiencing kinks
upon waking frequently

while little feet of outstretched
on a plastic medical chair

and head cocked
at an angle
of the dangle propped on pillows
found me bodily limbs bent
askew in unnatural positions,

which series of unfortunate events

the outcome of a spontaneous
generated cleaning spree
on the part of the missus
who initiated rifling, sifting
and tearing thru old obsolete papers
such as automobile insurance statements,
Aetna monthly reports
about benefits, and many
qua countless bank statements
and claim documents
from Citizens Bank
and this damn scamming victim
fell hard for a ruse,
where nest egg of ours
got crushed to smithereens
into a million little pieces
after this former
Citizens Banker
withdrew loads of Benjamins
and fed cash innocuously
into an ATM machine
and instantaneously
spit out at the other end as bitcoin

time didst not heal that financial fiasco
(thus far, I recently shifted
social security electronic
direct deposit
into one checking account
at Citadel Credit Union
and will shift the remaining meager funds
from three other checking accounts
into a second checking account
at Citadel Credit Union
on the sixteenth of November)
linkedin to a blizzard
of electronic fraudulent
scheming scoundrels,
who figuratively and literally
took innocent me to the cleaners,

deliberately intent to inflict woe
on a contemplative, intuitive,
oversensitive, and unobstructive
proletarian, sexagenarian, and Unitarian,
who shares a one bedroom apartment
with the missus,
and even as of this writing penniless,
dime a dozen day late
and dollar short
cents less totally despondent
doodling Yankee,
whereat a maelstrom
of mental anguish
think (mailer daemons)
rent asunder fragile psyche of mine
into a psychological
bit torrent of rage against the machine
and felt teetering
on the brink
of severe suicidal ideations.