it hurts

You know, it actually hurts that im happy, she was everything to me, the light in darkness, a ray of sun, but now shes horrid, why did i ever like her, why did i stop, i hate her, i hate her so much that i love her. i dont like the way she talks to them, the way she walks now carries disdain, the way she looks at us, causes me discomfort. if i was better would i love her, if she was worse, would she love me? who is the problem, who is wrong, if not both of us