If I Were To Write You A Last Letter

I told God about you on a walk

and the next morning you came back.

I used to wish to see the world

when I got older. I used to wish

to travel to Europe, and meet you in person.

You look like somebody I wanted to hold.

What a shame I cannot do that

before I am gone.

You didn't comment on the poem I wrote you, but I—

believed in what was best, and somehow I still do.

Your name was on my list of reasons

to stay alive, but now I'm writing this

to inform you.

That if I'm too slothful to make it

and the blade is closer to my chest than your heart

could ever be; if it was but my delusion

that you saw brightness in me

then, thank you. Thank you for your time.

I hope I'll see you later

in a place where it is white.

But that's going to take a while more.

You have always been somebody that I adore.

I cherish every moment we had.

I hope you were honest: that your life was just hard

and it wasn't an excuse.

One day I will be worthy

of the ones I have to lose.