Optimistic Firefly

 Optimistic firefly

 

On an evening I was in different mood

Felt as I have taken at noon my last food.

Every thing appeared out of control

So virtually was on self roll.

What to do what not to                            

It was complex and not through.

 

Closed all doors and windows of room

Light was not required but gloom

Depression, despair and dejection was on bloom

What was in mind, for everyone it was easy to assume.

 

Gradually with outer world I diminished every relation

Was in extreme frustration.

Existed a state of acute breathlessness and suffocation

Life had no foundation, was devoid of any decoration.

Others have many, but I have no expectation

Just disgust and desperation was only the fascination.

 

Had seen this life enough

Found quite rough.

To get rid of this, and see other was not tough

I had attained such stuff.

It is truth, you may admire or handcuff.

 

**               **                                 **

Thus moved out towards river

With red eyes, and very high degree suicidal fever.

Carefully filled a gunny bag with big stones

Properly tied the opening .

Perhaps you did not understand my planning .

 

In addition I had a long rope

To be tied to mouth of gunny bag with hope.

Consequently life may not have any scope

As thoughts have descending slope.

 

Tying one end of cord with gunny bag and other with waist

Planned to jump in the river closing eyes with haste.

But only after drinking the poison from bottle

Which I had opened in the hotel.

Anyhow I could not sip it there

However some opportunity was here.

 

Thus having taken double safety measure

Wanted to die with huge pleasure.

Leaving aside life’s leisure

Going towards my ultimate or immortal treasure.

 

All of sudden from ground to air

Air to surface of water.

From surface of water to bottom of river

Would have been my course.

 

In such a weather, in such a season

I took my best position on slope of hill.

Supposedly having seen my last evening

Now it transforming to night .

It was nearly dark, no light.

 

Tried to remember everything for last time

Wanted to die soon as delaying was crime.

The life has become very heavy and shoulders were weak

Not at all straight but wanted to see everything oblique.

 

The only difference between life and death is of breathing

Wanted to eliminate the same this night, this evening.

 

**                   **                   **

 

Then I saw a small twinkling ‘spot of light’

Was a rarest sight.

Flying and enjoying in air

That was fighting, but was in despair.

 

In such a loneliness

In state of huge stress.

Was this ‘spot of light’ divine or bless

But at last moments, it gave happiness.

In excess.

 

Came like projectile came from the north west

With tremendous force struck my chest.

Perhaps wanted to protest

But quickly ran away

As may have delivered its best.

 

This small flying ‘light spot’ is known as firefly

It is truth not lie.

From the earth it looked at sky.

 

 Forgetting my own crisis

 Pondered about firefly.

Why it disturbed me from original path,

Wanted adequate reply.

 

Fighting boldly with dark

What is its inspiration ?

And determination.

Why it is flying ?

How it is producing light ?

While in flight.

 

Up in sky there are stars

Insignificant light houses, but very far.

Stars are numerous

Have great significance.

 

However firefly is alone

Very small but daring all.

In moonlight it will not be visible

In the Sun it will disappear .

Will not be seen neither from far or near.

 

Little firefly has no fear mark

It flies piercing the dark.

And smilingly

It was saying.

 

‘In sky as long as there is no moon

 I am moon .

In heaven when appears no Sun

I am Sun.

In sky absence of twinkling stars

I am star.”

 

Further firefly advised his little son

‘Dear son, day you shine like moon and Sun.

Make your wings strong

So that you may fly very high.

Towards the vast sky.’

 

Stars are away, cannot come to the earth

But I may think to fly up to them.

With this perception I am flying with glee

In heart carrying happy jewel and gem.

 

I teach art of flying with light

Twinkling stars are stationary.

But I move left and right

In absence of light house, I illuminate land

This was firefly’s point of view and stand.

 

Although trapped in hands, yet was aggressive and positive

Please let me go out, also was very submissive.

I acceded to firefly’s request and allowed firefly to go

Very quickly firefly joined herd and flew to and fro.

 

**                           **                                **                             **

Small ‘light spot’, is daring moon, star and sun

Even then.

According to capacity giving light to everyone

Wants his son to fly, very high.

In the sky.

 

What about me, why I want to die

Little firefly is daring, moon and Sun.

Thus virtually daring everyone

In open.

 

I have two hands, legs and two eyes

A little creature wants to fly high,
I should dream to touch sky

So what I mean

When wanted to go down the stream.

 

Under very adverse circumstances, the firefly

Has gritty desire to fly.

I  learnt a little, side by side

And gave up the coward’s desire of suicide.

 

If I commit suicide, what problem will be solved

By doing so nothing will be evolved.

If survive, I can please at least one person

With logic and reason.

 

Then that would be victory

Of the mystery.

In history

It is valedictory.

 

By thinking so, I opened the gunny bag’s opening

Put bottle of poison inside the same .

Then threw the gunny bag in river taking God’s name

The things which would have been responsible for my elimination

Pushed  in the state of annihilation.

 

It provided me hope and reason for breathing

From dark night, it appeared like morning.

With new lease of life I did not roam

And took my way for home.

 

Thus little ‘light house’ proved me the biggest Sun

Now I can tell everyone.

With firefly’s wit and grit, suicide was undone

And new life has begun.

 

In the way I found a baby bird has fallen from the nest

I picked up realizing that God has given me test.

Initially baby bird found me rigid

And was very timid.

 

Without my assistance the baby bird would have died

In air, open and wide.

I will bring it up, with me it will reside

Will save this bird, if not a person

I took the decision.

When grown up, I will leave it to fly

Possibly with firefly.

 

With baby bird in hands I returned to home

And felt as light as foam.

Have gone dejected

Returned ejected

People at home were worried

Where I had hurried.

 

All my near and near ones were upset
But not aware with strife
That firefly gave me new lease of life.

 

With me everyone wanted to talk

I told them I had gone for a walk.

 

After feeding I asked baby bird

‘Tell me don’t feel shy

Have you seen firefly.’

 

I saw brightness in the eyes of  bird
Hence I  perceived his word.

 

Poet Ajay Sharma

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