Robert Starkey
11-16-12
Mask
No sexual desire’s need not leathers
Distractions of day to day should, could be’s
Heavens flush its system for the weathers
Feeling as if there’s a moment to seize
As the conscious dulls the flat mountain tips
Wandering streets going where never been
Hurting the bottle to your lavished lips
Wrestling with cigarettes for the pin
Numb, dumb on rum till you’re stuck in the cup
Trying but no one takes you serious
Lost days has anyone yet found the pup?
Laugh like depression was hilarious
This is but a game until you’re out-played
Glued to the mask behind a masquerade
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Author:
Rob (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: April 9th, 2013 15:26
- Category: Sad
- Views: 33
- Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy
Offline)
Comments3
Aye, is this a sonnet? If I may dare to try to assert anything, seems we'd all be best off adhering to the original standard of iambic pentameter. That aside, it is indeed sad, the mask so many realize we are essentially forced to wear for society's sake, more the pity when we can not even take it off at home. Haunting and thought-provoking with excellent imagery, it is rather heart-wrenching and subtly hard-hitting, beautifully rendered in poignancy. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed it.
ttfn,
Jenny
I appreciate all complements and comments Jenny. And yes it's a sonnet I just stick to ABABCC. This is one of the poems I entered in Poetry Foundation that they passed on. It's fine though I have a few more up my sleeve.
Oh, you're too welcome, if my assessments are worth anything. Ah, well, I do look forward to reading the others up your sleeve. But what is this about your rather odd rhyme scheme? Don't tell me your college profs not only shrank the crown standard down to half its size, but they also tossed the illegitimate Shakespearian standard of ababcdcdefefgg? I shall have to keep track of what's posted lest I miss anything. Thanks! Say, give me more details about this poetry foundation...maybe I'll find gumption to enter some of my concoctions.
ttfn,
Jenny
I just prefer the ababcc ryhme scheme. I know crowns are typical with ababcdcdefefgg ryhme scheme but I prefer to stand out. Who knows maybe it'll go to use.
Aye, aye then, be a trend-setter! For all the disrespect for rules that recklessly abounds and seems endorsed on all sides, I don't doubt you may yet win the day if you try...who knows? You all will forgive me for being a stick in the mud and clinging to standards.
awesomely intriguing images that haunt the reader! If I had to pick a favorite line it would be this one...
Heavens flush its system for the weathers
I found that line particularly intriguing.
beautiful in it wistful sadness. I think you did pretty good on the sonnet.
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