Bowler2013

Struggling with Depression


Days of endless struggle
More hopeful pills today
Trying to appear 'normal'
In some sort of way.
It seems that the struggle,
Is always here with me
And I wouldn't be here now
If guilt would leave.
I know there's too many,
Who've had it worse than me
But that doesn't always mean
That I should say good-bye.
People say I have alot going for me
I'm sorry, but I just can't see,
I can't see because of my worst enemy
It's not my life, but inside of me.
Always on a roller coaster,
Not much consistency
I'm nothing if I'm not up or down,
I'm nothing if I'm just 'me'.
Very little energy
Wanting to stay in bed
Wishing to be enthusiastic
Instead of feeling like I'm made of lead.
Wanting to be excited
Wanting to care for more
But when nothing makes sense,
It's hard to focus.
Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking
It's hard to keep in touch.
With what's happening around me
And not to worry too much.
I feel that everybody is better than me
And that I can't do anything right.
This is how I have felt.
It didn't just start last night.
No confidence, no self-esteem
Everybody else is right.

Comments5

  • justwrite

    So full of pain, it shows.
    I suffered from chronic depression in the past and I completely relate to this write, everything you say is classic of depression.
    I hope you find your way out soon,
    I know that not much I or anyone will tell you can change how you're feeling but you already know that to be happy, is a job that only you can do for yourself . Good luck

    • SadisticSatanist

      I know what you mean, i suffer from 3 diagnosed disorders in which i know of. and to find happiness you have to do it for yourself, obviously surrounding yourself with good friends is just one of the things you can do to ensure you have the support you needed. Also if you like this type of poetry please take a look at mine. i'm new to this and have posted the first poem i've ever writen about my disorders.

    • msmb4

      I relate to this on a very personal level. I am currently struggling through depression, as well as a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. My best advice is simply to keep fighting. Remind yourself that your thoughts are simply thoughts-not reality. I know it is easier said than done, but just keep working towards finding happy because believe me, it is out there somewhere.

    • redclockonthetable

      When numbness bouts with deep feeling,they call it depression.
      I liked your expression.I liked your expression.

    • Danyla101

      I know about depression and think you did a great job showing how it feels to be depressed.

      • Bowler2013

        Ty, it's very tough!! I've already tried killing myself 2 times

      • katyaslater

        This is amazing, I just posted a poem on depression. It's the second poem I've ever written so it's not very good but it's therapeutic. This was lovely. Thank you.



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