"You Know It Sucks"

you know it sucks knowing the fact that it seems as if you didn’t care about life,
meanwhile here i am taking my time to appreciate it,
you know it sucks that you don’t take a second to embrace the positive things,
it seems as if you only take time and think about the god damn negative things,
knowing i just lost someone i really cared for fucking hurts,
but here you are talking about how you don’t care if you end up in a hospital just to know who will show up, just to know who cares about you, just to know basically if death is the solution to anything,
and it disgusts me cause losing someone so close to you who is blood hurts i couldn’t imagine how it’d feel to lose you as well,
but even if i try to tell you this you still wont care,
and it sucks that you talk about how you wouldn’t care if you died or end up in the hospital,
knowing there is one very special person in your life you still wouldn’t care if you died and it hurts me cause I’ve learned to appreciate life in every little way,
it hurts to know you think of yourself as nothing cause of certain people who you think are worth it,
but what hurts the most is i can relate to that princess of yours,
you know it sucks to give advice when im not even okay,
but you don’t hear me talking about me wanting to be in a hospital,
you know it sucks that i care for you so damn much as a friend but feel like you don’t even try to understand me about how i feel when you speak in such way about yourself,
and you know it sucks when you call me and hang up cause i don’t know if you’re okay or crashed or maybe had some panic attack,
it really fucking sucks having to go to sleep worrying,
it just really sucks to know how it feels to lose someone you really cared for,
i couldn’t imagine how it’d feel to lose you as well