I'm wondering if I should use a gun a knife or take pills it was the destruction of words that made me ill my mind is under construction it cannot function them words went in as if they were a drill and every blade leaves a mark and blood spills the words drill and they drill, words crack, shatter than spread, I'm mentally dying inside my head the thoughts of a gun a knife or pills I could cry a million tears even build up a bridge, I can bring myself up but how can I function when my Brain is still under construction the power of the tongue and the words that are spoken cause me to have so much self-Destruction
By: Jasmine Ray
- Author: JasmineRay ( Offline)
- Published: November 29th, 2015 15:26
- Comment from author about the poem: Putting people down can cause people to have suicidal thoughts, as in people that includes me.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 29
Comments1
Keep on writing, writing has a way of making us see things we otherwise would not see, try writing about the people who "hate" and how much more damaged they are.
There are some excellent rhymes and wordplay in your poem, also a lot of power, a lot!
On a slightly critical note the layout could be changed for a more dynamic impact.
A great write nonetheless, much enjoyed and thanks for sharing!:)
Thanks for reading it, it means alot to me i appreciate it, feels good to be heard and yeah your right the lay out could of been better, but thanks for your feed back, it helps alot, i appreciate it and enjoy the rest of your day.
And your welcome.😌
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