TALES FROM THE FARM In memory of my wonderful parents Harry and Janie Dunning (Kirkburton)

Janie and Harry decided to marry

and spend their lives on the farm

in 1930, work was hard and dirty

but they knew they would come to no harm

The first time Janie sat down by a cow

To milk it, she really didn't know how

Do I pull on one teat at a time

Or both at one side, the front and the hind

Oh! i'll  Just get with the job, it does no good to whine

Harry arrived such a grin on his face

Janie he said, you look grand sitting there

The only thing is, you need a three legged stool

Not a dining room chair

The old cow decided enough was enough

The hind leg came up in the air

Poor Janie could have leapt off a stool

But not a dining room chair

The bucket fell over, the milk on the floor

Cats appeared from everywhere, the hayloft, the stable

And from the yard all rushing through the door

Lapping, Lapping as fast as they could

Not a drop will be left on the old mistal floor

The cats usually had six saucer's of milk

Not galleons as this seemed to be

All will have full tummies tonight

And they'll sleep - the mice can run free

Harry took Janie to meet the grey mare

Enormous, big feet, just standing there

It's a gentle giant said Harry, Janies thought I'm not so sure

What on earth do we do with all that manure

It's good for the garden, the roses will bloom

The smell it too strong, we need air in this room

It's a stable said Harry. and the horse must be groomed

Hears a brush, you start at the front, i'll start at the rear

We'll meet in the middle, you need have no fear.

AAAH!! Screeched Janie it's stood on my foot

Harry Laughed Oh Janie - Thats just beginners back luck.