Lies and Dreams...

I've been the one to want so much from someone

even if I know that they can't

but maybe if I wish harder every night while I'm in bed

than I won't feel lost, like driving forever without a map

Maybe if I pray harder and ask for forgiveness

and become the person that I have never been

than maybe I will get my one wish

even if I continue to sin.

because I am this small little girl 

who wants to feel like they have a hero right behind

and no matter how many times I cross my fingers and turn around

all of my childhood fantasies will continue to be lies

and my heart will no longer mend like it used to be

and it won't give in to those who try and seek

the love that I have been craving for since I was sixteen

and maybe someone will finally realize that behind these eyes is a me...

and maybe my hands and fingers will stop shaking

and this smile that I paste on my face every morning will stop faking

and some prince charming will swoop me in their arms to prevent me from sinking

and I will finally breathe in and out and on the contrary

people will admire my effort

they will see all of the energy I have wasted

and applaud for all the times that I've been given the cheek

and bow down for the times that they made me feel devastated

but right now I still cry in the showers at night

and I still smile at those who disrespect

because at the end of this cold lonely routine of life

noone will ever understand and I will always be a reject...