I want to have a baby

I want to have a baby girl, to give her my love and my broken heart, 

so when the right person leaves me, I can pretend that I am doing okay and I'm tough

so when the rain starts pouring and the sun does not shine

I can hold her in my arms, while covering her face and tell her it is going to be alright

when I am feeling lonely, when I feel that no matter how loud I am, you can not hear my voice

I would have her sing me a melody that melts the walls of my soul and gives me joy

I want to have a baby girl, to give her all of my learned life lessons

so she does not have to get hurt by others or fall into depression.

Maybe she will heal my pain because she will be a big distraction

maybe she can fill these holes that do not satisfy my desires for attention

or the fact that Love will overpower the sensation that imperfection has drowned

AGH! I am going to go insane, so God please help me

Do not let my daughter be born so she does not witness this crazy