Haunted by the night

Bed of sorrow
Placing my head on pillow of worries
Wrapping myself closely with tears
Closing my eyes to darkness
No counting sheep
Praying the Lord for my mind to keep
Praying for peace of mind
It's always so loud
In this bed
Thoughts always troubled my head
Try to override with gold and rainbows
Instead see rain and arrows
Love is pain
Feel pain everyday
Which can only mean
I feel love?
As I lay
There's no relaxation
Or meditation
Only stress and frustration
From the outside looking in
I look well rested and rejuvenated 
From inside looking in
I look Drained and tired
Wonder if I will ever be
The person who lays down
To only count sheep