Shaking in my bed
I have let out what’s in my head
You’re dumb you’re not enough
My chest tightens
My eyes closed shut
My ankles touch my butt
My arms wrap my chest
Oh I’m a wreck
Breathing heavy lost control of my mind and body
Spewing the same word vomit
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
To the pillow in my mouth
Cannot let the sound resound through the room
Or they’ll know the truth of my oldest friend
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I pray to God for him to pour his grace upon
This voice
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
God give me control of my mind I just lost
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
The piercing cold sweat runs down my burning hot body
As a puddle builds on the small of my back
The cold sweat starts to boil
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
The control slowly returns
I can move my arms
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
My legs extend with control
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
My back straightens
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
My body aches because of the muscle spasms
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
I CANNOT BE THIS CRAZY
My mouth finally stops repeating the word vomit
Some control is returned to me
I’m not this crazy I say
It’s a fluke
My oldest friend again starts to say you’re not good you’re not enough you’re dumb
I pray to God my Best friend, lover, caretaker
For the voice in my head
How I desire for my oldest friend to leave
I tell my oldest friend to never leave
I know you and you know me
Without you my oldest friend who will I be
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