In the gentle calmed arustle,
As I drift away to sleep
I seek a refuge for my love,
Holding wishes, my soul it keeps
My thoughts calm to a walk,
Slowing their endless pace
And through this gray mist,
I see the wonder of your face
The wave of your soft hand,
Sweeps away the fog of my mind
As you walk slowly to me,
In these moments of time
Your sweet lips move so softly,
As ever close to me you seem
You whisper “Good night dear,
I am here in your sweet dreams
-
Author:
LaRose (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: March 24th, 2016 03:46
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 18
Offline)
Comments1
The only practice which is absolutely necessary for good poetry is honesty; to speak from one's heart. I admire the message of your poem, but I fin it lacking in symmetry. You should attempt to create regular notes of assonance, or fully commit to the discordant notes which are already present. In addition, while I myself have practiced a free style similar to this, I would advise the use of a specific meter for beginning poets, such as yourself, to stimulate fluidity for the reader. However, as poetry is primarily a tool for introspection, for the expression of wonder and beauty in the world around us, and in our minds, hearts, and souls, there is really no truly right way to write poetry. You should write in whichever way feels the most true to your heart.
Please excuse any grammatical errors which I may have made. I wrote my response rather quickly, and neglected to revise it.
Thanks i think😈
You are very welcome!
This is great work.
However, one can always become better. 👏
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