Tom Glum

Tom Glum, Tom Glum;

How I bet you suck your thumb,

an equivocal practice indeed.

 

Never have I met,

Such a frivolous pest,

as your anger and twitches of greed.

 

Unemployment cheques,

are something you detest,

although benefits from friends are okay.

 

Keep telling yourself,

that you're working on your health,

as you smoke all my money away.

 

Never have I seen,

a glare quite as mean,

as the one you shot that tourist walking too slow.

 

Or that time you acted shady,

shouting at an old lady,

for saying "every little helps" at Tesco.

 

I'm glad we don't mix anymore,

cos your "factual evidence" is a bore,

spew political nonesense to your reflection.

 

Cos for a spokesman of less-waste,

getting mad at the price of toothpaste,

won't solve your battle for perfection.