Soul Searching

Shake your hand, flash a grin
You'd never know this hole I'm in.
I've got it made, looks and all
But essentially it's just a wall.

Deep within something churns,
I long to feel my spirit burn.
It's been so long, I'm concerned,
Have I forgotten all I've learned?

I'd say I'm sad, down, and glum,
But I'm not feeling, I'm just numb.
Oh dear self, where art thou?
You've hidden well, now take a bow!

I can't keep up this charade,
This plastic smile's begun to fade.
What happens when the guard falls?
Feel like I'm gonna lose it all.

My head screams kill me now,
My heart doesn't make a sound.
Wake up! Look alive, you silly soul,
Guess I deserve to pay this toll.

It may sound like I've reached the end,
But I don't break, I only bend.
Sock it to me you cold black cloud,
I'll prepare your wake and shroud.

This resolve, it's not my own,
It's Yahweh's thread with which I'm sewn.
My flesh to dust, it shall return.
My deepest part is my concern.