THE TWO OLD MEN

(To Edwin Arlington Robinson)

I am an accountant of a hospital. One day my heart hurt because I was afraid of some difficulties which were going to arise in the near future. At this time I found myself to remember those two old men who have already retired and who are optimistic, tolerant and frank and that day trip with them by tour bus. I suppose I must have needed to learn the optimistic, tolerant and frank attitude from those two old men. Because the future which brings us fear seems to originate from just our own selfish, narrow-minded and haughty conduct in the past.

One of the two old men was a pharmacist of this hospital and then he was over seventy. The other was engaged on the upkeep of this hospital. At a time for the year-end adjustment I said without appreciating his feelings that he was an old man, although I am sure that he did not like being called an old man. And I was only twenty seven years old then yet.

That was a coach trip to a cape. Digital cameras had just appeared at that time and film was still in current use. I took a single-lens reflex camera with film like a water bottle. And I shot many pictures. The most impressive picture for me is not the one that shows the two old men. It is the picture that shows the cliff facing the rough seas. Anyway, we walked very much. We stayed by the coast for some time and left there to visit a resort building apart from the sea. This resort seemed to have been prosperous. This resort building had each of us remember the Shouwa period. I had spent a happy boyhood in the Shouwa period. My grandfather had often taken me to various and interesting places. So I can feel the difference between things of the Shouwa period and things of the Heisei period. The two old men, who had spent the Shouwa period much longer and much deeper than I had, seemed to have far more profound emotion than I had. The pharmacist said, “ah, this is the resort which was well known.” And another old man said, “yes, this was famous.” I was interested in the whole interior, namely the stairs, the balustrade, the carpet, the ceiling, the lighting, the tables, the sofas, the desks and the chairs. And I shot the pictures of these things.

I don’t know why the two old men asked me to this coach trip. Was I the easiest man to call? Did I seem to be curious? But I may not need to think of the reason. The two old men would not think of reasons for various things. I am different from the appearance. I'm not good at socializing. I'm not an agreeable man. I'm a solitary man. When I was asked to go together, I did not feel like accepting the offer. The two old men may have noticed such a disposition of mine during that trip. However, when I went to show them the developed pictures during recess, they said, “we come out very well.” They were delighted and smiled. Now I wish the two old men did not retire yet. If so, I might not become a haughty man like this because they would surely be the examples which only my soul could see.