Tru

On some days I lost it all. My family, my one love.

But in a (YOLO) life you'll always have opportunities to grow.

From struggle, pain and the lack of reality that should have been brought to us.

This is my poem and this is how it goes. I have been gone but I'm back now.

Disappeared from the scene because I graduated from high school. 

And now the adult life starts. Work, paying bills, car payment, working on a long-life career.

I had one love but now i don't even know if she wants to claim me anymore.

Yes, we didn't have the relationship like everyone else, but we had one hell of relationship.

From our highs and lows. From words being exchanged from A-Z.

We had a hate, love relationship. Yes most of it was caused by my dumb decisions.

If my stupid butt would have stayed away from the temptation. Would we be different now and not away from each other?

From our life situations from parents, to siblings to other family members. Our lives was like Downtown, New York. 

Non-stop business coming in every 5 seconds when we needed or wanted each other.

The stress that was risen from hell. Bringing us tears and sweat like we were in a war in Desert with an unknown enemy.

When all we wanted was peace and love like the 1960's.

But what am I to blame for us being like this. Was it me? Was it my curiosity? Was it the inability to shake off the insecurity of you leaving me or something happening to you?

But I had to realize only way this is gone work is that all we got to do is be TRU! 

For me and you, for what our future was gone be. The kids, our careers, our lives. 

Biggest mistake was I was trying to be someone who I couldn't be and that was be the perfect boyfriend.

Knowing I couldn't even be the boyfriend you couldn't trust and continue to keep failing you OVER and OVER from TIME to TIME. 

Because all I wanted was for you to accept me for WHO I AM and WHAT I DO.

None of stupid things I did were to hurt you. It was temptation, curiosity and mostly insecurity.

All the love I have, had may continue to live on for days, months and years. Maybe even forever.

May you ever take me back for who I was when you first met me. In gym class and that day 5.6.14 where I felt like my life was finally complete.

But now I here trying to put back pieces of the puzzle that I messed up. And all I'm asking for is help from you to help me put them back together to how we put the puzzle together on 5.6.14.

I sit, laying down, crying, praying for us. But mostly for the forgiveness and mercy for you to have on me. Will things ever be how they used to be. When we first got together and we went to the upstairs room of the gym and I will hold you forever in my arms and never let you go. 

Looking in yours, making you smile and kissing your lips. To that day at gym we went outside for P.E class and I had my first kiss from you. 

When my knees buckled and got weak. I didn't know what happened. Till cupid shot me in the butt with his cupid arrow and that day i feel desperately in love with you.