?

Is It things that I have seen that make me come across as mean,
Or am I kind but also blind,to how I look in others eyes ,I feel the fool the local jester, feel like others do much better,is this why I can act cold or seem to shy into a hole,be cruel to those who don't deserve it ,but share with those who haven't earned it,
I need to sit and work it out, so those I love and care about ,can get the best I have to give,I mustn't let if be what if, I can't be moulded by my past ,so I am gonna raise the mast,and sail this ship hard to the wind and be more me and play to win.