"Step dad"

The numbness in my chest becomes real
Because I start to feel
Like maybe this place I used to call home
Isn't somewhere I can call my own.
I want to leave, to get away
From the messes you create
In my head. You make me wonder if
This life that I've been forced to live
Is worth it. Your existence as a whole
Has left me with an empty soul
But my empty pockets prevent
A life changing event
I wish to go through
With and finally live without you.
But I can't now, can I?
More years I have to survive
With no way to revive
The relationship we never had
The opportunity to build so if you expect me to call you dad
You can think again. I'd take the other father I had over you in a heartbeat.
At least I don't wake up in the morning with tears still wet on my sheets
When I'm in his home,
A place that is no longer my own.
So, "step dad", know that I see you
As someone I will live to
Despise for you have ruined the
Happiness of my family.