Feel what I feel

 I wish I could make you feel I feel,

A pain so real and sincere living my life in fear... 

Of what I might do to myself or to others,

I can still smell her when I lay my head down and pull my face under the covers ...

I miss her so fucking much none of you can ever understand, 

Because I cry so much I dare you to say I'm not a man, 

You'll be breathing through that slit I put in your throat, 

My heads stuck in the silver tinted clouds of doubt my heads barley afloat... 

I know I'll never really be able to live a semi normal life, 

I can only ease this pain with this knife... 

That I take to my thigh, 

She is my exctasy my one true high... 

And now she's gone she's gone forever,

This is what clever... 

The clever thing for you all is to distance yourself me,

If you do not wish to oblige trust me you will be that dummy... 

I'm that pot of hot water waiting to boil over that bomb waiting to go off,

I'll hurt you in the blink of an eye without thinking twice and trust me I'll feel no remorse... 

I'm sorry I'm becoming this animal this beast, 

The worst part is I'm evolving I'll be a freak before the time I am deceased.. 

Tis better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all is what I hear, 

Fuck Shakespeare,

I wish he was stuck here, 

With a love that's lost, 

I would give up an arm and a leg to have my Laurie back at any cost... 

But that's a force beyond my control you have to roll with the punches, 

There's no free lunches... 

You don't realize what you have till its gone, 

Should be tattooed on my forearm... 

Because that saying is more than true, 

Laurie I love you and I miss you... 

I know your not here in person to see it,

but I know you can feel it...

I feel your cold presence around me every single fucking time I speak, 

Mark my words my love if there is a heaven when I die I'll bow down and kiss your feet...............