5 Years

The most hurt a person can feel is losing the one person they only ever loved.
To sit alone at night and regret all the wrong they have done.
Such disappointment in those sorrowful and watery eyes of hers.
You were her everything that she couldn't be.
It was those little things you'd do that made her happy.
To comfort her on those dark days.
Now here you are up at night and wide awake.
Suffering and trying to endure with this pointless depression.
Drugging yourself to numb the pain and to momentarily be happy on those high sessions.
A false sense of vanity.
Constant battle of deciphering what's fake and that this is reality.
She's gone now.
She's moved on now.
So why do I feel like I need her more than ever now?
This induced fear of being alone.
Knowing you're the reason why she let you go.
The uncertainty that resides within.
Uncertain of wanting to love again.
At an attempt to finding someone new is a process.
The desire of wanting to let go all while not wanting to forget.
To better days.
To the "what if's"
To wanting this pain to go away.
It's a such a shame we couldn't last forever.
Love you always and forever.