The First

She's only afraid because she's been hurt so many times.
And she knows he doesn't lie but sometimes
flashbacks come back in groups of two or three and
makes her remember all the promises number one didn't keep
and she knows he doesn't lie but sometimes
just the thought of the possibility can set her back
and she's stumbling in the dark again
and she know's he doesn't lie to her but sometimes
she is cornered by the fear that maybe just maybe
he would also disappear
her first love was comfort and then it brought her pain that was
far worse than any physical pain that is felt and
she can blame it on the rain she can
blame it on the month she can
blame it on the way he says he's simple but he's not,
no matter what she blames it on she can't hide from the
fact that she's afraid to do it again she's afraid of love and
maybe that will change but for now she just
goes around trying maybe a little too hard
and maybe she's doing things wrong but
she means no harm and often
breaks her own heart.
Maybe she doesn't think that her first love is
why she's afraid of loving or
maybe she knows it was her first love,
but she knows that blaming said first love
won't help her learn to love again so
she tucks it away and maybe someday when
she has buried it under a gravestone that reads,
"Unwanted Memories" she can
keep a new light without getting scared of
whether or not it could burn her to the ground
so yes,
she knows he doesn't lie but sometimes she has to think about the future and
whether or not she

can handle what's
coming to her.