The Conflict of My Narrative

Im fucking crying and ripping my hair out because of you

Holding everything inside is starting to make me blue

Why did God even give me this gift?
Then he gave me a heart that takes so much energy to lift
People can open and pour their hearts out to me if I say the right things
Several people considered even offered to give me a ring
but thats a no no, denied, I said I was too young for this shit
And now look where I am, Im all caught up in this mix
I cant tell the good and bad days apart from each other
Times like these when I wish for my big brother
Im not a public artist so why do I draw so much attention?
I come with alot of weight is what I always forget to mention
Or do I forget? because sometimes I do tell
But they say they can handel it and they fall under the spell
I dont want to have everyone's heart, take that shit back
I swear at this point MINE is blue and black
They say there are angels that'll catch you if you fall
And there's a saviour who can hear you when you call
But because of Him I have a big heart
So I pray for others while myself remains in the dark
There are nights I cry and I might not know why
But they say weeping only hinders for a night
Then can we make it every night?
Because on consecutive days I seem to be loosing the fight
A battle between man vs self and man vs nature
The lesser I make myself feel the more hopeless I am for the greater
I am not a poet I am just a young woman
And because of my dirty past Im still shoken
Unstable, pressure, worn out is what my mind is
Every year of my life seems like a quiz
Now Im waiting on the master test
So I can get out of here and finally rest
Can someone tell me when's recess?