Chaos

How do you put it into words?
Knowing you're going nowhere,
Floating through life aimlessly.
If not for family, who would care?
Nights like these I look up and stare,
At the black sky, going into space.
Unimportant to the world, just a face.
Retreating into my own mind,
Searching for answers I won't find.
To break up the structure,
Wait, does my life have any?
No direction, no goal, no clue,
Is life supposed to tell me what to do?
"What do you want to do?"
It seems simple enough, everyone says,
Their childhood dream, easy choice.
I never had one, so silent is my voice.
I'm stuck, frozen, gun to my head,
Just answer the question, but I dread,
The answer is I don't know, nothing I guess.
I look at the shattered dreams of my life and can't pick up the mess.
Then things get bad, things get sad
Things go fast, things from the past,
Demons come flying in,
Reminding me of all my sins.
Why did you fail? You fucked up.
Why did you fail? You let them down.
Why did you fail? You disappoint them.
Why did you fail? You don't know?
Just keep going. Just keep going.
Just keep going. Just keep going.
Do the same thing. Do the same thing.
Everything will work out right?
Everything will work out right?
Is this insanity?
I don't know.
Of course you don't.
They finally let me be.
Now I look forward and try to see,
What does the world have in store for me.
This isn't a poem anymore,
It's one man speaking from his core.