Sorry Mother.

The things I've done, the places I've been and the things I wanted
the interests I have, the things I need and the people I know
the cravings I lusted for, the addictions I held and the pain I caused
the tears that I played, the hurt involved and the absence of it all
the useless ideas, the upsetting times and the trouble within
the drink that I drank, the drugs that I took and the calling of life
the ignorance I have, the sorrow I breed and the nerves that I touched
the impression I gave, the illusion I was and the hope I never had
the money I made, the money was dead and the failure was spent
the work I attempted, the achievements I lost and the hole that I dug
the emptiness I felt, the loving that I lost and the heart that I broke
the unbearable thoughts that I think, the crimes I did and so sorry I have
the time I wasn't there, the times I have forgotten and the things I love
forgive me as I grow now, hopefully as a man with a story to be told
I made the mistakes but my love for you, I need to tell you before you get old
the years have gone by, yet memories are fond, you, of course, my mum
blessed into me with her force of belief, why did I have to run and hide
it hurt so much and how many times I broke your heart, kept me at your side
unconditionally flowing back from the love I lost, I look up to you so much
I can tell you how you are, your an amazing mother with a golden touch
my flame alight in which I cherish her, even though my life feels broken
raised my sights and ambitions for the gem I through away, so so sorry
standing by my side as you always have, you make my life bearable, I notice
so from a son who was never really there, please forgive me for being me
thank you as well for believing, just you wait, I know its late but I will turn into a man, you'll see