An Abundance Of Katherine's

Collin,
Child prodigy of seventeen years old,
IQ reaches over 200,
Not social nor bold.

Romantically involved with nineteen in entire lifetime,
Each named Katherine strictly with K,
All social and bold, each one a silver dime.

Every Katherine leaves Collin miserably alone,
Best friend Hassan takes Collin on a road trip,
Stops in a town that doesn't even have a working phone.

Gutshot Tennessee is a small dirty hicksville town,
It's dusty, musty, and old except for Lindsay Lee Wells,
A southern belle who's a real nerd hands down.

Lindsay gives the boys a place to stay,
Family is strange, own a tampon string factory,
No problems for the boys here, this is a place for them to get away.

Collin works on a theorem he calls the Theorem of Underlying Katherine Predictability,
Theorem plotting boys entire string of romantic relationships and their endings,
All Katharine's have dumped Collin, but one day a shocking discovery is made,
A forgotten memory that Katherine #3 was dumped, what a real strange thing.

Lindsay breaks the lifelong Katherine streak,
At last the three friends leave together to continue the road trip journey,
This new relationship feeling strong for it may never be weak!

All his life Collin just wanted to belong,
No idea that this southern belle would be the change,
That Collin needed all along.