Carousel

The moments when the roof was black and the lights were blinding
The moments when the swell of humanity singing overwhelmed the music 
He used to tug my hand and bring me into the center of attention
We used to dance like we didn't care
The people around us faded away
The only thing I could see was him
And the only thing I could hear was the music 
I wasn't in control, but it was okay 
because we had each other

'Round and round the carousel
I sat beside him, him beside me
Up and down and up and down, 
we were never on the same beat
but it sure felt like we were.
His smile blinded me
to his toxicity. 
And my laugh blinded him
to the ruthless, heartless bitch I can be. 

We would strut into the cinema,
me tossing my head back as I laughed
him smiling at me as I did. 
He'd put his arm 'round my shoulder
and I'd know
I was Artemis
and he was Orion. 
All that glitters isn't gold
and we glittered, that at least was true. 

He found in me
a part that hadn't seen the light of day in a long time
He searched and he searched and he found it
We'd run to places we'd never been, 
the wind in our hair and smiles frozen on our faces
We'd talk for hours about things that meant nothing and everything, 
all at once. 
We'd keep dancing even when our feet burned and ached. 
Because we were lost in each other. 

I was Pluto and he was Charon 
our own gravities kept us tied together
forever spinning in and out of orbit. 
I revolved around him
and he revolved around me. 
I put in one hundred percent
and so did he. 
But people change. 
People change. 

My smile fades into a grimace
and his laugh grates on my ears. 
We're still spinning 'round the carousel
but he couldn't wait for the ride to end
He's kissing another girl in the next seat over. 
I was ice and he was fire
he lit me up, melted me down.
Now I'm a piece of tinder
waiting for someone to light me up again. 

I was barely in control, 
him holding me together. 
Now that he's gone 
I've got nothing to hold me together
I have to find a new way to stay united
perhaps this is for the best. 
After all, falling is how you learn to get back up. 
People change, he did. 
So can I.