Saving Me From Myself

Bury me in ashes

I don't need the roses with the rose gold tint

That isn't permanent

I needed to be more attentive to my loved ones but I'm as assertive as a bundle of sticks

Truly a pick 

Which one will she pick

I'm trying to invite her to my mind 

Hope she doesn't end up on my ...

Truth be told I can't deal with all these dead bodies

Skeletons in my closet 

So when I disappear it's been kind of hard to find me

Been eating up inside me

Like I've been eating up inside her

Devil's juice to numb the pain so we can both 'find love' another hour

Real friends turned sour

Fake friends embrace that power

And at my darkest hour I will commit the greatest act which we call coward

Cancer that takes away your needs

And sends family members off with deeds

Grammy lost at 98 

Still crying and screaming in my dreams

Now I don't believe in luck besides gore happened to me

Long life lived 

Or life long taken

Stopped going to church because that day I lost her 

My love for all went vacant

Again it's going vacant after the loss of another

Tried to be monogamous and sleep the pain from under the covers 

But it's killing me deep down up under 

Cause even business tends to want to be held before it slumbers

Or maybe it never sleeps

Not trying to do the woe is me

But it's hard to be me 

When everyone only knows you cause 2 weeks ago you were 17

Jokes on me cause really I feel like 80

Mentally draining

Heart lost like a widow who lost it all on vacation

Starting to love my job will end up leaving me vacant 

Because everyone is temporary but for some reason I wait staying patient

But like Trey Songz I just can't help but wait man