Denver Dreams

There must be a valid reason

This must be part of my fate

This time, I am not going to wait forever

I want to put together a logical plan

I have faith that he really is my soul mate

That no other man can replace him

He told me that I'm the only one who has ever stuck by him through thick and thin

We both have had our fair share of other men

I gave it way more than enough time to see if anyone else was supposed to win

Every time that our paths cross again, he is taken back to Denver

I don't know what he thinks is so spectacular up there

But, if I don't at least give it a decent chance, I am afraid too much will go on without me there

Like too many good times may just pass me by

So, I suppose I am going to make my way up to Denver so that I can give it a try

I don't like the weather there

It's too snowy

Too cold

Too big

Too many people

It's not Colorado, I have been told

I don't want to grow old without him near

I want to be up there to assure him that he is forever loved

To make sure that his vision is always clear

To keep him safe-guarded from all of the losers

The users

The trash

Everything about Denver clashes with everything that is me

But, if I don't go look, there is no way I'll ever see what I will have seen

He has come clean and has been honest about everything

Almost too much so at times

I thought that he was finally enjoying his life here

But, just as the idea of it started to settle in, I saw him suddenly falling prey to his own fear

Old patterns immediately began to emerge

Within a week of us living behind the same walls

The moment we had an idea of our next step, the ravens started chanting their distress calls

I was forced to come here, where I now reside

It is obvious that our magic has never even faded, much less will it ever to have died

I have cried about all of this way too many times, days, tears, years...

I just cannot do it anymore

I just can't believe that we've been right here so many times before and that we have come back to it yet again

I don't seem to ever meet any other men who sway my interest elsewhere

He's gonna drag my ass up to Denver if it takes a lifetime to get me there, apparently...

I am free to do whatever it is that I wish to do now- except for becoming his eternal bride

Maybe he lied about it just to see how I would react

To assure himself that my faith to him is completely intact

To make me go on a wild goose chase in a place where I feel lost and alone

It can't be just because I am the only one who worships his bone the way that I do orl that he knows I always will

Maybe I instill upon him what he needs to fully succeed

I would really like to be able to finally say that I know

The only way I ever will is if I pack up my bags and move my ass to Denver

It's the only reason I will go if, indeed, I do go

I still remmeber the dream I had in 2010, when it started to snow and he was nowhere to be found

The dream left me extremely unsound

What about the other one who is still MIA?

I just do not know what to do

But, whatever it is, I need to formulate a goal and follow all the way through with it.....

9/08/2016