Existing
Fear
Remembering
Sorrow
All are things we have and do. Most of us just manage to scrape by all the self hate and torture within our minds. The agonizing thoughts that whisper to you in the night, slowly makes you start to decay in the absence of love or pure happiness. I don’t recall the last time i was actually living. Whats happiness without a price? Over time you develop this fear. This trepidation that if our mind doesn’t kill us then the person we admire most and dedicate the last little bit of love we have in us to will be the one to end this dreadful life of ours. You have angst towards yourself and the way you think or perceive things. Fear of never being good enough or never being loved by yourself or anyone. Fear that your going to fall into the abyss of your past and your old habits you’ve worked so hard to let go of. What are you afraid of? You find yourself stuck, laying on the floor alcohol in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Remembering things your trying so hard to vanquish. Your just telling yourself how worthless you are as you take your next sip. Filling yourself up with poison was far better than the burn of the dreadful marks people; things leave on you. Remembering every thing you’ve locked away behind a smile or behind your eyes for only people who are curious can get lost in. Can you remember the last time you actually felt love? Sorrow corrupts our souls and deprives us of emotion. Everything begins to just feel vacant no matter how much toxins we shove done our throats. Depression begins to be a friend, for its always there; its all you feel. Whats a life without sorrow?
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Author:
Maya Strinz (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: November 11th, 2016 11:46
- Comment from author about the poem: These four words happened to come to mind so i wrote a little about each of the words. If you'd like i'd love to see your answers for the questions i have within my writing, comment your answers and id read it all happily.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 27
Offline)
Comments2
I agree that you can get and keep yourself in a rut with depression and self loathing. Sometimes it is reinforced by others, but in the end we are responsible for how we choose to feel. Actually there are chemical changes in the body when there is self hatred. Coming out of it is an active process. Thanks for the thought provoking write.
no, thank you.
Great write and very truthful in its words
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