Doing Just Fine

I'm doing just fine is what I say, I put a fake smile every day. People ask me what is wrong, and it's hard to talk about from day one. People just think because how I talk or what I say, that my life has been easy till this day. The struggles the lies the heart breaks, it's seems like this crazy life will never end. It started when I was small looking at ma crying every night struggling w her fight trying to keep us alive. She would jump around from guy to guy to find someone that would provide, little did she know it was all going to end the same way, ma we broke again. We don't have any food or any money to spend. Ma we are hungry, ma my tummy, but all she was thinking about is next person that can help her, the next person that falls for her, little did she know we were growing apart little did she know she no longer had our hearts. Because of the struggle she was going thru, she took it out on us with torture and the abuse.
So people ask me every day what is wrong, I put on a fake smile, im doing just fine, I'm doing just fine, people tell me I look sad, I put on a fake smile, im doing just fine.
I move out thinking I'm free, I move out thinking I can be me, I move out thinking there is hope, nope. I move in w an uncle that was close to ma, she couldn't let another get away, so u try and control me huh. You made him take me out of a sport I loved, a sport that relieved me from all the lost hugs. I got a job trying to make it on my own, but the money I was making they took it as their own. I was left w nothing trying to survive, w a corrupt family I knew I was going to die,
So people ask me everyday what is wrong, I put on a fake smile, I'm doing just fine, People tell me I look sad, I put a fake smile, I'm doing just fine, I'm doing just fine.
Time passed I joined the toughest force, a couple of deployments led to a divorce, I don't know what I was trying to find, love, piece, or maybe I was just tired of crying. Crying for that right person to feel, tired of the love lost that I'm still trying to heal. The fact is that I'm losing now, just waiting for the day I'm 6 ft underground.
So People ask me everyday what is wrong, I put a fake smile and I'm doing just fine, doing just fine.
Now again going through a failed marriage, tried to change but couldn't manage. Life is hard I feel down, I feel lower than dirt on the ground. How can u make me feel like a piece of shit, when all I was trying to do is to get u to commit. Get u to commit to a broken marriage, holding on to what is about to parish. Second set will be leaving too, daddy will always love you. I'm lost im so confused I don't know what to do, #number22. I put on a fake smile, I'm doing...