The Darkness In My Blood and the Truth In My Eyes

I'm weaving my story with the only words I know, 
writing my song with the only chords I've heard, 
painting my masterpiece with the only colors I have. 

It all started with love. 
Love has many meanings, 
but my favorite is: love is being willing 
to sacrifice everything for someone. 
I was in love with her, 
and later on, I was in love with him. 

Madness is putting my hands in fire
to see if the burns teach me to fear it. 
But love is always mad, or so I've heard

I was an ice princess, he was a snow king. 
I found a candle, he found a match. 
I saw a light to my darkness, 
but all he could see was the potential for destruction. 
I'm learning to fly, and he's starting to fall. 
While I'm falling in love with who I could be, 
he can't see that his future is within his grasp, if he would only reach out. 
I'm creating the soundtrack for my own life
and he's listening to the same melody on repeat, expecting it to change. 

I want to show him that there's more to this world
than just these tired old streets. 
I want to show him
the gold and crimson leaves of autumn. 
I want to show him
the sunlight glinting off icicles in the cold winter. 
I want to show him
the flowers that bloom after harsh storms of spring. 
I want to show him
the fireflies against the inky black sky of summer. 
I want to show him that there's more to this world
than sadness. 

I'm dancing a dance only I can see, 
singing a song only I can hear. 
The dreams I dream, 
aren't dreams at all. 

I'm a bastard, I always have been.
I messed it up with him.
We screwed up, royally.  
But I'm a daughter of the moon after all. 
I've got fear deep inside me, 
soaking into my bones. 
I'm a wild child, never been tamed and never will be, 
but I'm always the first to fall. 

I'm singing the same melody over and over again
and it won't go away. 
I can feel it in my bones, burning throughout my nerves.

I'm not afraid of falling asleep. 
I'm afraid of my own mind. 

I wore my heart on my sleeve
until my shirt was stained red
from the blood that I bled. 
I'm empty inside except the secrets I'll never tell. 
The secrets that will die with me. 

I'm a wild beast running from myself
and I can't seem to keep up the pace.

I'm hot before I'm cold, 
my words are glittering gold. 
I've got a sharp tongue of silver, 
sharp as the knife of a killer. 

I'll dance with you till the dawn,
dancing as the song goes on and on. 
I'll sing you a love song, 
but be warned, my affections don't last long. 

Twist me 'round your finger, 
even after I'm gone, my heart will linger. 
I've got something deep inside me
that's kinder and wiser than I could ever be. 

I'm a sinner with a saint buried inside
My heart's affections rise and fall with the tide. 
My demons are my angels, 
and the lands they lead me through are fraught with dangers. 

I can't sleep because it's too loud inside my head. 
So I'll write my words down instead. 
I'm cold when I cry
and hot when I lie. 

Take me far away, 
let me come with you and stay. 
I need to take a break from my demons, 
it took me long enough to realize my feelings. 

The electricity of being a part of something bigger than myself
lights me up like a fir tree on December's cold nights. 
My love for him heals the wounds that hatred inflicted on me, 
and courage reclaims what fear stole away. 

I'm strong now, because I have someone to live for, 
I have someone to die for, 
someone to fight for. 

I can't control the lightning flooding through my veins, 
but I'm freer than a bird. 
The bars of my birdcage turn into wind chimes
that sway in the breeze, playing each gentle melody
as a reminder of how far we've come. 
The song that echoes through my windpipes
is wild and free
because the fire inside me can't be controlled. 

The media preaches perfection
and turns imperfections into insecurities. 
But he likes to tell me:
"Scars can either be looked at as you fought a battle and lost, 
or you fought a battle, and you survived." 

Lightning races beneath my skin, 
I crave touch and the electricity it would bring. 
Cold, crisp air flows into my lungs
Oh God, how I miss his touch. 
My self-imposed starvation of love stings
So I daydream of kisses and tongues. 
I crave touch, and the fire it'd bring to me. 

My predator instincts tell me to smile
I'm a wolf running from the secrets I hide. 
I project innocence, but beneath it lays guile. 
It's hard to lie and say I'm okay,
but everyone says that love is supposed to be a trial. 
So I'm up on the stage, and although I haven't lied, 
there are secrets I hold that I'll never tell. 
There are secrets I harbor, that I'll never sell. 

But I want his skin on mine. 
I want to feel the heat of his core. 
I want the electricity in his eyes to travel down my spine. 
I want his hands in mine. 

It's hard to say who we are, 
but I've found an accurate way to explain it.  
You see, I'm winter peace and blizzards
I'm the white snow against evergreens and a baby blue sky. 
I'm the sharp and cutting edge of a cold breeze, the glint of a metal blade. 
I'm the silence of a library, lost completely in a world of inked words on pages. 
I'm a glass of wine with an old friend. 
I'm icicles glinting in the sunlight. 
I'm addiction, I'm addicting, I'll give you that clarity and swooping feeling you seek. 
I'm having one too many glasses of champagne so the world feels like sunshine. 
I'm determination in the face of fear. 
The love I found happened slowly, like creeping ivy, 
till one day I woke up and realized it had ensnared me tightly, 
and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Him, he's fall evenings, when the air is crisp but not cold. 
He's the setting sun lighting forests ablaze with autumn beauty. 
He's the glow of a million stars against the indigo sky. 
He's when the air smells of cloves and cinnamon and smoke from the crackling bonfire. 
He's musky forests and the steady, soothing rainfall. 
He's the warmth that runs through my veins, soothing my mind and my body. 
He's adrenaline highs and truth or dares. 
He's fireworks exploding in the sky. 
He's loyalty, true friendship, not the fake plastic stuff, but real friendship. 
He's the love that shows itself
quietly, from day to day, 
with soft touches and unsaid favors, 
but rears up in fury to defend if necessary. 

I've been burned by him before, 
but I've come to realize that I don't care. 
I've learned to just follow my heart, wherever it takes me. 
I've learned to do what I love. 
I've learned that I live in a shockingly beautiful world. 
We are walking through the living kingdom of Heaven, every day. 
The colors, the sand beneath our feet, the stars above our heads, 
the potential to create, the ability to love, 
the plants, the wildlife, the music, all sensations and life, 
it's beautiful. 
But if we refuse to see the color and the beauty, 
we may as well be in Hell. 
It's all about perception. 

There's still a lot out there for me to learn. 
There's still a lot of things for me to experience. 
This world is big, and I want to explore it, even more than I already have. 
Over time, I've come to see
that life isn't about stomping over other people's opinions. 
Life is about having the courage to pursue the beliefs we hold to be true. 
Life is about balancing work with play. 
Life is about being tenacious and unafraid of hard work. 
Life is about learning simply for the sake of learning. 
The people that I love, I'm content simply knowing that they care about me. 
It doesn't matter that he doesn't know I'd die if it meant he'd live. 
He's a part of my family, and I crave the touch of his mind
as much as I do his skin. 
As much as my feelings for him change like the wind, 
I know it'll be okay. 
I'm a teenager, and this happens, 
we're meant to be a big mess of emotions, 
of sadness and happiness and anger and frustration, 
and everything all mixed up and shoved together into a hurricane
that you can't stop and it'll tear you apart and push you together
and bowl you over and lift you up. 
That's just the way being a teen works. 
But I have faith, that eventually things will work out. 

We've all got stories to tell, 
but the secrets are in how you tell them.