sometimes I cry

Sometimes i cry
In the dead of night
When everyone is asleep
Im never sure why
And i am unaware that i am
Until the wet salty tears roll down my cheeks
Theres never a good answer why
Other than this deep sadness i feel
It feels as though it runs into my core
Wrapped tightly and intricately around my soul
It came slowly
I could feel it creeping in day by day
But i did little to stop it
Ironically i welcomed it
Before i felt nothing
I was numb
At least now i feel something
Whether it be despair or pain
At least now i know that i am still capable
Capable of feeling something
When you are numb
Nothing fazes you, you feel nothing
Its scary
It frightened me at how little i cared
About anything but more so how little regard i held of myself
Still i have little regard but at least i feel something