Falling Off

I am on the edge of this cliff called life
One push and I'll fall off
My only wish is that I can be back to the middle of this land
But that that is to hard in this day and time
I wish my family wasn't so screwed up but you know you don't always get what you wish for
And now here I stand so close to the edge ready to jump
But I don't because I know there's people that need me
Won't it be best to just stop this madness I think
The people I love so much don't even know how many secrets I hide
My father doesn't even care he calls me fat he says I'm a slut but how is that
I never in my life have had a boyfriend first kiss or anything so tell how
Please help me two people dead in one week
One almost died because of an addiction
But he won't stop we all know that
And when I sleep I cry because that's the only way I can sleep
Please I scream to god but now I start to think there isn't one
But I still go to church I still scream to him
I wish that someone anyone could see and hear my pain
When y'all talk about epilepsy I stand there wanting to cry
Because my aunt has it and I have seen her have a  seizure
My mom has a tumor in her had and even may have cancer
She may have breast cancer we don't know
My mom also has seizures and when your own mom doesn't know who you are it hurts
I scream it’s your daughter but get nowhere
I yell for her to just wake up but she doesn't
You know that day I was down and blue that's why
I feel so much pain but I hide it all
Why you ask because I am the one who has no emotions remember
Yeah I bet you do because I try to scar it into your head
But really I am weak because know one knows all my pain not even my parents not even my friends
So next time you say something just think what they might be going through
They might be as messed up as me on a cliff ready to jump off the edge because it seems better than this life you live