Convinced

I am convinced that I have healed myself

Me and me alone

It took so much out of me to douse myself with liquid while on fire in a picture of a romanticized forever

It can exist, I suppose

I think that I have seen it with other twosomes here and there throughout my years

I know that in my own life I have never known what it feels like to make it all work out

I have never found true longevity, nor trust, nor respect in its truest form

Unspoken

Broken into shards of multi-colored glass upon just about every kind of thoroughfare imaginable

I have felt love from the hearts and souls of others but I am not exactly sure why it has always kept me so convinced

Falling in love for the nuttiest reasons

The last one, the brattiest boy

He had me wrapped around his glands and he knew it very well

Off his Denver high horse he apparently fell some time ago

I did not think that I would spend quality time with the man of my dreams ever again

Only now do I know what it takes to truly be in love

It makes it so hard when your nature is to shy away from it like mine is

I have convinced myself that sin has never been any real issue

Do what you wish to do I say

The wings that we span are to enable the standing ones to fly

They are ancient

They are hidden

They are totally taboo

I had totally convinced myself that all of the horrific visions that I see are only pictures in my head

Days like these convince me now just how fond they would all be if given the chance to see me dead

I have fed them and fed them

Giving in

Giving out

But, why?

I look up to the sky and see a hag spell out in broom dust "Surrender, Jason you idiot"....and that alone has convinced me to do just that...

I guess maybe I will find my next true love once I figure out how to pull a fucking rabbit out of my hat....

1/1/2013