C U Next Tuesday

The first time I heard you say "see you next Tuesday" (but of course you used the actual word), it made my skin crawl. 

Not because I don't like the word, in fact I use it as an insult quite often. 

No, it made me quiver, uncomfortable in my own skin (not for the first or last time), made me want to run from you because you sounded exactly like your father. 

Your father who did, and to quote you "sick shit" to myself and an eight year old boy, who often acted as my little brother. 

I have never feared you as much as I did in that moment. 

I didn't know a fucking four letter word could make me scared, make my skin crawl, make me want to cry, give me flashbacks, make me scared of my own fucking father.