As If

As If 
by Kat
its as if he gonna leave me
but its more as if i am leaving myself
he loves me but every time
he gets close i get scared
its as if i don't want to be happy
but its as if i want to as well
he make me forget the bad 
its as if i want to remember it
its as if i want to die
its as if i want to be with him
its as if i want no one close 
but truly i want him
i want him in my life
i want to live
i want to spend my life with him
i want to get married
i want to have kids
but its as if i want to be sad
but truly i want to be his everything
i want him to be my everything 
i love this guy 
he makes me happy
he makes me smile
he makes me laugh