A Gangly, Disjointed Abomination

Do I have friends?

My mind says yes, yet my heart says no.

I can’t quite see anymore.

Bitterness has shrouded my eyes,

All appear as enemies.

I am unraveling and nothing can be done.

I would cry, I would cry

I can never find any peace

I would cry, I would cry

This product is broken beyond repair, are you sure you want it?

It’s so broken, it just might break you if you take it.

You’re positive?

I never thought I’d see the day.

Fantasies play through my head

Of a warm body holding gently

A grotesque corpse, viridescent with rot.

A wretched smile spread from arch to arch, process to process

Tears falling upon it as the warm presence holds it tightly

The flesh rips with fierce grip,

Deformed and hideous, yet gloriously triumphant

And somehow lamenting the warmth left behind

A quizzical corpse that wrestles with its choice

Even in death, it finds no peace

Hey, man, if there’s one fucking question I have, it’s fucking this:

Tell me why God left his best boy behind.

That’s what the fuck I want to know.

Tell me what his best boy did to deserve all he’s got.

Somebody stop me!

Someone tell me why I am alive.

I haven’t yet found the divine knowledge

That tells me exactly why not to end my life.

The boundary is as thin as paper

And needs only a decently sure path

To cross. Unless, of course, I find

My fortitude.

“Hey there, little mama.

My thoughts are erotic

And my anxiety is chronic.

Wanna fuck?”

Am I worthy of being called human?