Hey could you spare a moment?
Shes broken.
She needs someone to talk to.
Maybe it could be you?
If you even care anymore,
she knows she can be a bore…
but she would like it if you’d listen.
She remembers the glisten
in your eyes.
Why’d you leave it all behind?
She thinks she’s a slut or a whore
maybe something more?
The truth is no one’s treated her like you did
that’s why she hides
from her feelings inside.
Deep below
no one will ever know
the pain she feels.
The way you made her question herself.
You are like no one else.
She thinks she’s ugly.
I know she’s beautiful.
She thinks she’s a whore.
I know she’s so much more.
She thinks she shouldn’t live
because of what you did.
You ripped her apart.
She’s down on her knees,
help me please!
What do I do,
what do I say
to keep her living another day?
-
Author:
MaxWritesPoems (
Offline) - Published: December 30th, 2016 19:03
- Comment from author about the poem: Written about a close friend of mine.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 24
Offline)
Comments4
Great write
Thank you x
Welcome
this is relatable, and well written. ww
I'm sorry if you find relation to this 🙁 thank you though for the compliment
Such a good poem.
I love it , well done...
Thank you x
I do love the idea of this poem. Similar to some things I've written in my notebook. As I see it you are writing for yourself, and no one else. However, i believe in constructive criticism. If you would like to make your writing more complex, try messing with your rhyming patterns. I do love the peice, and enjoy poetry of all types. I like the writing style. Sorry if this was rude, just speaking my mind and trying to help you with your writing.
Honestly thank you I need more criticism I can't keep getting by with the same old things. I'll take that into account the next time I write
I'm so glad that you accept criticism. It took me a long time to really accept that I could do better. Now I look at my old writing and think about how wrong I was
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