Still

Ever since I can remember, I've struggled through long winter mornings

Stumbling around in the half-darkness, shivering from cold that threatened to consume me

I used to fight the coldness with you

We were a team, you and I

Huddled together under frigid December air we rested against each other for warmth

I thought that once you left,

I'd die

because surely I was no match for the coldness alone

However, I was wrong

Because you see, skin is the same temperature on all human bodies

I don't need you to comfort me when I can get my 98 degrees from anyone else

For so long I thought you were my beginning and end. Now, I realize you were some sort of middle

My hands- the same hands that held yours so many times- have seen many before you, and more will come after

My lips- the same lips that you ceased to think were worthy of kissing- will eventually find a pair to call home

I am tired of acting like the sun stopped shining when you left.

I am tired of people treading cautiously when they speak.

It's inconvenient to lose a lover, but unlike losing love it is not fatal

I am still complete without you, I am still sexy and strong and enough

I am still a daughter and a sister and a friend

I do not cease to exist without you

Although you may not be the warmth that shields me in the cold anymore, that’s okay because

I think you'd be surprised to know that I woke up this morning and lit the fireplace.

My body was warm, even in your absence

The sun still shone down against my pale winter cheeks and the grass still crunched under my feet and I knew my world was no more or less for having lost you

I paused to listen to the birds sing, a gentle reminder that spring was coming soon