Tornado

I sit with my back up against the wall,

my arms cuddling my knees.

Rocking back and forth,

Sat in darkness I cry.

Listening to the noises outside;

The howling breeze and rustling leaves.

Why am I thinking these dark wicked thoughts?

I should feel warm like the sun

surrounding me with joy;

Lighting up my world

Feeling content and complete.

How can this be?

Rocking back and forth,

I wish for the flashing images to go away.

I clench my fists and pull my hair,

Scared that these feelings and thoughts are

here to stay.

Like a big black cloud hovering over,

these bad thoughts consume me.

Taking over my soul;

I feel trapped.

Somebody please save me.

I know it's not real.

I'd never hurt my baby.

She's safe with me,

I promise!

I'm not insane or going crazy.

Rocking back and forth,

I hold her so tight.

I kiss her on her forehead

And wish & wish with all my might;

That the images disappear

And the voices I hear.......

Go away

and never

come back.

Salty tears streak down my cold ghostly face,

As I question myself;

I feel such a disgrace.

My mind is stuck in a toxic tornado.

I love my baby, I will protect her

But I'm anxious and scared so

I speak to the doctor,

Even though I am frightened;

To open up and be honest,

To get help with my emotions,

All in turmoil and heightened.

"It's not your fault that you're thinking these

thoughts dear one,

Accept the support

Be brave and be strong"

Rocking back and forth,

As my beautiful angel cries,

I look down into her eyes,

Singing her a lullaby.

I comfort her with my soft embrace,

As I feel the warmth of her breath on my face.

Finally the fog lifts and clears from my mind.

I feel like I've locked all the bad thoughts

behind.

I look in the mirror, I see light behind my eyes;

The darkness has vanished,

I feel a glow from inside.