Am I sick in the head?

I must be sick in the head

I know what he is

and it is not a man who loves me.

He has misled and misdirected me forever.

I had no idea what was going on.

And now I know.

I know his place shouts "Look how great I am!"

His plaques, his awards, his trophies

Even his art work - some of which is quite good -

Line his walls

And no other art work is permitted.

Posters, maps of places he's been

An occasional postcard with a pretty picture on it

But only his work on display.

No soul, he put everything in niches

- including his women and friends,

and rarely do the niches mix or mingle.

Oh that I understood,

He was a niche in my life too

But his niche was much bigger than mine.

High intelligence, athletic build still at his age

Most impressive resume

A "BMOC" (big man on campus)

I should have known better.

So charming and yet so centered on himself.

I knew why he attracted me.

I always wanted a BMOC and now I could have one.

Or so I thought.

I was so wrong and yet I knew.

He is not capable of love - or refuses to love -

And I knew it.

I actually thought he did love me and tried to prove it to him.

Or so I thought.

I was so wrong and yet I now know but

I still love.

Am I sick in the head?