I have become me

You will never see my wilting heart 

it grows , it grows , it grows.

It gathers strength from sunny mornings at 5am

It finds its peace in windy leaves

 

I cant imagine what could have been

But can see what I should now be seeing

To have just one more day ,to walk the Earth  

Its all I'll ever need and want , 

Whichever way my life may fall

you cant forget me , I'm called Paul

 

So nearly , nearly did I run

The gauntlet, the gamble thats life or death

My dice it rolled 6 & 6 another roll could have been the one

That sent me to a resting place that I cant imagine or ever face

 

Its obvious now ; something's to be done

A reason, a part in lifes great big film of fun

I wonder when it will show its hand , thats the time; 

This Final Plan

 

Only then can I rest, assured 

My young mistakes will be vanquished ,cured.

Until this date I walk this planet , a human being, a man, a thing

The joy I feel , the songs I sing,

the anticipation I can be someone, will always push me on and on.

 

For now I sit and wait and think 

I wonder why I make this link

Is it because its all I have

Just desperation; a random plan?

 

I think I've seen enough of Earth 

to see the balance of love and mirth 

to have the greed and power of control 

or to have the ignorance of what the media’s told

 

The neanderthal man and clever minds 

Its in this age I will live and die in

I cannot say which I want 

It seems the others the attractive one.

 

To have my peace is all I wanted

My hopes and dreams have become distorted

No one could see how this has started

And now you feel my love departed.

 

Its been a pleasure to have taken part

I just got dealt some unplayable cards

I do not want your sympathy 

My only longing's to fly so free.