Fearful hope

Isabel Chelisia Villa

I wanna say the words ive been contemplating. Just trying to do this without seeming like im shading.

Social anxiety, causing fear to ripple through me. I cannot show you the real me.

The me before the catastrophic fallout. Feeling like an outsider in my own life.

People who have never been able to relate. Always sayin i cant do shit right

Feelings so strong, oh yeah sure like yall aint ever done anything wrong.

I remember that night i got taking for a long drive. Cussing, Screaming, and threatening harm to me?

Your how old, man i am only 14. I screamed at you back in tears, no more, no more.

Have you ever been afraid of whats in the dark? I never had all my parts.

Yeah, I get it i messed up. Time for me to straighten up.

Yep, i used to smoke weed. That dont make me weak.

I quit that shit on my own. now im 5 months strong.

I never asked for help. Dont wanna live my life upon the shelf. As if i dont exist.

Can i point out that you aint ever lost a damn parent. You werent 13 playing house.

I thought that should be apparent. I never got to have a childhood.

I tried so hard just to be good. have you ever seen my pain?

Trouble, trouble. Am i insane?

Never got to have my heart. Imma bout to fall apart.

I remember my 1st fight. You ignored me all night.

I said all I did was defend myself. You still gave me hell.

I will never be ashamed of who I am. I thought your supposed to defend your daughter?

And i still call you my damn father? this is why my name is Fearful Hope...

  • Author: Isabel Chelisia Villa (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 24th, 2017 12:01
  • Comment from author about the poem: I still love my father, this is an old poem I wrote around 14. I found it and read it over and thought I would share it....not to good or thought out but hey.....
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 29
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Comments +

Comments2

  • Tony36

    Great write

  • MendedFences27

    You only get one Dad. So make the most of it, but do not stand for any mistreatment. Hope- fully you will mature and reach an understanding between you and he. Sorry to hear of your loss. Keep on writing and remain Hopeful. - Phil A.



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