IM MORE THEN WHAT YOU SEE

I sit in the alley wrapped up
As the sweat collects the dirt which runs down my face
Shaking feeling death move in
Couldn't tell you the date , time or what day it is
Need a fix so I have to make a move
To make a move I need to stand

Split with 50 different personalities
Each demanding to be fed
Made my wife leave
Has my kids fatherless
From head of household to no house to go to
Begging for change to refill my needle
Lent out my bike to fill the pipe
Without the high the reality sits in
Reality starts the tears to begin
Depression filled with self hate
Nothing you won't do in order to self medicate
So I struggle and fight
But I find a way to stand

I been found in dirt where I had fallen out
Pants smelling of piss and if not for boxers
You would see the shit stains
Been beaten by rich kids having fun
Arrested by cops for asking strangers for help
I'm more then the statistic you see me as
Or the number the state refers to me as
Once upon a time I wasn't this man some know me as
Filled with hope and love that's been replaced with the high from dope
Wish I knew how to get back to the life I use to have
I know the way I need to go
But my feet won't move where my head ain't looking
Legs start trembling as I stand by myself

What man wants to wake up pissed off cause he woke up
Sleeping under the stars
On hard concrete
With nothing to lose
What do I have to fear
Besides rain cause of these holes in my shoes

I hate myself for hating this life but living the life and giving up on life
Begging for help from a system
That locks you up for addiction
Provides no rehabilitation then sends you right back to the streets
Frustrations of a man who made a mistake and paid for it by losing everything
I don't need a celebrity style resort detox center
Just a room with a bed to let the poison out
Some mind therapy and alittle self confidence
Being able to stand don't matter much
When nobody's by your side to help you walk right
And the dope man is the only one left