Last September

Here in the dark with my broken heart, she’s right in front of me but we’re worlds apart, what I wouldn’t give to go back to the start, back to the days where I was mending her heart.

I don’t want to lose her, to see her face no more, how do I make her change her mind, baby please don’t walk out that door!

Her clear blue eyes would shine through my soul, the only thing that managed to make me feel whole, I remember to myself as my tears become hard to control. Her smile like the sun has fallen shadow to the crescent moons, she me promised me forever, how could I lose her so soon?

 She was wild and free, like a summer dawning sun, always seeking out adventure and living for fun. I stand and gaze at this distant stranger, maybe my friends were right, who was I to think I could tame her?

 My unsteady hands shake something chronic, as I drunkenly lean in to swig another gin and tonic. I’m not at a funeral, but all I see is black, I think a week has past but I’m beginning to lose track. I miss the way her perfume abducted all my air, or the way she’d tie back her long unruly hair and pretend she didn’t notice how much I had to stare. How did this happen, surely this kind of heart ache isn’t fair?

I’m a dwindling fire in the cellar of my own heart, and her words are hitting me like knives intent on leaving their mark.  She takes the ring off her finger from the carefully planned night late last September, that she claims she was simply just too drunk to remember.

All those times you said you loved me, and all those days you held me up, what am I to do now? You’ve clearly given up.