Familiar Plane

Deep breath as I enter this too familiar plane
I realize this captivity is a bain
Too often I find myself here at this place
In this existence I'm scared to face
Talking to myself and too afraid to hear
Steady wiping away tears as they rear
Fighting myself for no reason
Feeling like my hearts committing treason
I wander around looking for answers that don't exist
Asking questions but the point gets missed
The truth gets lost
At a price that's not worth the cost
No value left to attain
Half sure I've gone straight up insane
So I'm looking for my sanity
No clue as I scramble franticly
Paranoid beyond reasonable doubt
Jump at my shadow everytime the lights go out
Eerily quiet but I hear whispers in my ear
Filling my head with fear
I close my eyes but they don't leave
They tell me things I don't want to believe
They give me ideas I know are wrong
But they sound so right after so long
Its tempting and i try to fight it
But they urge on as if they like it
They try so hard to fool me
As they push me and pull me
I jump up and run away
But they follow as if they still wanna play
I tell myself not to listen
I feel the tear drops slippinh
A sob escapes my lips
As the first tear drips
Down my face hot and salty
And I feel the pain assault me
All the memories begin to haunt me
And the mistakes try to taunt me
Insecurities grab at my legs til I fall
Doubts come out and start to crawl
They creep up my legs softly
And I try to shake them off me
I panic and scream til my throat is sore
I swipe at them til there's nomore
I crawl along as fast as i can
Til I find my footing to run again
All around me there is war
As the line between reality is tore
Bombs are falling everywhere
Destroying all that once was there
Creating expanses burnt and bare
Ashes remain to blow on the breeze
Filling my lungs and making me wheeze.
I'm so tired and I can barely breath
Too weak to run anymore
Too weary to remember what I'm running for
I search for some kind of cover
But there's nothing left to crawl under
I'm trapped in the middle of catastrophe
With all hell coming after me
No where left to run or hide
Voices crying from every side
The storm crashes around me.as the horrors surround me
Here comes my worst nightmare
Here I face my ultimate scare
As it comes the ground quakes.
My courage finally breaks
I fall down with every step it takes
Closer it comes as my body shakes
Until above me I see it looming
Ready to devour and consume me
I close my eyes and scream til I can't hear it
And tell myself not to fear it
Suddenly I hear birds chirping and the trees
I feel the slightest gentle breeze
I slowly open my eyes to find
I'm no longer trapped inside my mind.
Release the breathe I was holding in
Rub the goosebumps from my skin
Try to stop shivering as I stand
Control the shaking of my hands
Wipe my cheeks of the tears
Til finally my vision clears I walk away still unsteady
Wondering when ill ever be ready
To finally stop hiding
And face what's deep inside me