Absolution

Will it go away ?
It lives inside of me
It grows stronger day by day.
It sees me like nothing more than prey

Honestly wish I could just end it
My life is nothing more than a doormat
Nothing but
Anxiety
Rage
Depression
Loneliness
Family
Stepping on me
Begging for help, praying for a blessing
My mind been debating on whether end it or stay
My life is fading, my brain is breaking , my heart is chasing , my demons are raging

So many people say they'll take any drug to ease the pain let me tell you from experience that it's not worth it ,don't let your demon be victorious

Life is nothing more than a mystery
So many people will end their misery
I could do it too
But what's stopping me from doing it

Death would be the only one in victory

Feel like he's up there just watching us
Doing nothing but mocking us
Every prayer we throw he just dodging us

I don't know what's stopping me
I have the guts to point it to my temple
You can watch me cock it back

Giving me all these flashbacks

If I were to let my true self out
Would they except it
Is it really something I can express
Would I get respect or nothing but regret
Honestly something I wouldn't suggest
Would I scare them?
Its a part of me I just can't bare

When I look in the mirror he's always there
Yelling , howling , banging to let him out
Most of you wouldn't understand how hard it is to stare at Satan , yourself face to face

Demanding , chanting,dancing those demonic things to your mind
Being his key to the door of freedom
Nothing but anger to the core
I just wish we can just unbind

He's killing me , telling me to do things
Making me show anger unwilling
Telling me to sin
Crawling through my skin

His accession for my mind
Tears me apart
Please god I need a fresh start
This isn't the beginning
But he's winning
When will you avulse us ?

Where's my absolution