I need to grow up.

I need to grow up
So I can start a family
So I can worry about anything but me
Worry about anyone but me
Not worry about college, goals, or what I wanna be

So I can spend my time worrying about finding a man who “loves” me
Worry about finding a man who “cares” about me
Who will “be there” for me

Because without a man what will I ever be?
What can I ever be?

But, I won’t complain because how hard can raising a family really be?

I will teach my son to ride a bike and my daughter to be afraid for her life when she walks alone at night
I’ll teach my son how to provide for a family and my daughter how to not dress “provocatively”

So some guy doesn’t touch her when she doesn’t want to be

Making her feel like she can’t come to me
Like not even her own mother will believe the words she is speaking to me
Giving her endless sleepless nights and even more bad dreams

Blaming herself time and time again even though she heard herself yell “No” twenty times in a row
But, maybe he couldn’t hear her over the sound of her own childhood crashing down around her

How could he get away with making her feel worthless
Making her cry herself to sleep wishing she was perfect
Maybe if she keeps her head high and doesn’t let anyone know what’s inside the pain will go away if she prays and prays and prays

Now there’s cuts on her wrist and tears in her eyes
But, don’t worry she’ll smile and laugh so no one knows what’s really going on

All because she dressed ‘provocatively”
All because some guy touched her when she didn’t want to be